Tight Rope Walker

Tight Rope Walker

Tuesday, February 15, 2011

Well... She is Gone for now

First Thanks Ron for your comment. I do know all you are saying is true. But, I also know I will do whatever it takes to save her life when push comes to shove... including having her in our home to call places to find a bed or program. Most places ask why the parent is calling, they want to hear from the potential resident.

My husband went to meet her. She was late. They never made into BW3... as he got right down to business since she was late. She admitted she relapsed. Didn't need to take the drug test, it would be dirty. Said it was only twice in the last 2 days. But we know different. He offered help. She wasn't budging. Then he broke down crying and she said IF she went it would be for him only. He said he would take that as a reason... as good as any he told her. Push came to shove and she said, I am a loser junkie, I don't care what happens to me.

When she realized he wasn't feeding her , going grocery shopping with her or giving her money, she couldn't wait to get out of the car.

He couldn't pin point her down as to where she is actually living. She has no clothes. IF she had asked, he has some of her clothes in his trunk, but she didn't ask. She is extremely skinny, ashen skin and dirty.

So he said, please don't call me until you are ready to get help. And dropped her off on some corner.

He was crying so hard, he couldn't drive, had to pull over for quite a while.

He got home, we both cried, still are ...

I looked on facebook ( shame on me). 16 hours ago she posted, getting a house with the 3 bestest boys ever.

I looked on Joey's facebook, it said, got a house with friends, party is here.

There it is.

The only thing that gives my husband hope, so he says, is Joey is stupid, she is stupid when she is with him, so they will be in jail verses dead.

It has already taken over her mind, it is doing the thinking for her. It will be her God now. It will guide her choices and decisions, she won't, she gave up her power to a more powerful thing called Heroin.

Another piece of my heart is gone. At least it's still beating.


  1. My wish is peace for you and your husband. I've been at that place before that you are now, helpless and hopeless.

    You must be strong. She is not ready and even if you convince, bribe, blackmail or coerce her into rehab it is not likely to work. Make sure she knows you love her, tell her every chance you get. Hold your hand out for recovery.

    Addicts do not get clean for other people and I don't know any that have gotten clean for their parents. As much as we want to think we can influence them it doesn't work very well. Never forget, we are the parents, we'd give our life for them. They are addicts and they'd give their life for the drugs. Our values and goals as parents do not match our addicts.

  2. Kelly, I wish there was something I could do to give you some comfort right now. You and Doc are such good, good people, such wonderful parents. I simply cannot imagine what you are going through...I keep you guys in my prayers, and of course Emily as well. I remember when you guys came to Minneapolis, she was so bright and funny and so nice to the younger girls. Molly loved her. I am hoping that someday that same girl will come out again.

    Love you.


  3. I'm so very sorry and I must tell you, I cried when I read this. I am praying for your daughter, and you and your husband. God bless you all.

  4. thinking about you and your family

  5. This is so hard. I like Ron's comments above - he pretty much summed it up! Prayers continue.