Tight Rope Walker

Tight Rope Walker

Sunday, February 13, 2011

If it walks like duck, quacks like a duck..It probably is a duck!

Just thought I would give the sad, but true update. The dank water is becoming a flood. There are not enough mops left to clean it up today.

My husband went down to get the rest of her stuff. She never showed up. She didn't answer his calls or texts. He was talking to the roommate that let him in. He started asking the roommate questions, like this doesn't seem right? You said you were moving out due to the robberies. He said I am, but in March. Well why does Emily have to be out, when she paid her rent. Well she hasn't paid her rent. We have gotten 50.00 from her once.

The kid did not want to "rat" her out... but said enough. Said he introduced her to his best friend, her b/f.. but they are fighting. He doesn't know why. She barely stays there. She is not hanging around good people. The roommates do not trust who she brings over. My husband flat out asked if she was using.. he said, he has seen no physical evidence of that here, but her actions speak louder. So they bagged all her stuff up and put it in his car.

My husband said to me, she is exhibting dry drunk syndrome.

That's when I lost it. I said, listen to me, with all your AA, Alanon training.. IF it walks like duck, quacks like a duck.. it's probably a DUCK!

With a heavy sigh, he agreed.

He said, I thought she had hit her rock bottom before, not once, not twice, but many times, but my gut is telling me it's gonna get a lot worst this time.

I said, we stick to what I have been saying for years now... no help unless she wants rehab again, long term. Nothing else... there is nothing we can give her to make this go away. There are no more trips to move her out, set her up, again unless it's rehab.

I can remain strong when talking with him. I can say the right things, I can put on a face for my son,.. but it's back. I should not be shocked, because I have known this in the back of my head, the gut feeling and the heavy heart... but now it's back out in the open.. and inside I am dying a little more.. another chip at my already lost soul and heart.

Let Go, Let God. I must chant this in my head today, tomorrow. With a heavy heart I will try.


  1. I'm so so sorry. I will pray that she chooses to get help. Also, do you know about Vivitrol ? That may be a very helpful option after rehab.,..but obviously that would be in the future. Please hang in there. Thinking of you here.

  2. awhhh Thanks! I do know about it. I am not pro meds to maintain not using illegal drugs.. but I guess I would be open if she showed an interest.. we can't waste more time and money.. unfortunately.. (( Hugs))

  3. "Let go and Let God"

    Such a simple phrase, yet at times so very difficult to do. It is so hard to truly trust God when things are dark and the water is deep and stinky.
    I pray that you and I and all of us here can find our way into a Lifeboat.