Tight Rope Walker

Tight Rope Walker

Thursday, August 23, 2012

Mother's Joy

It's been awhile since I have given an update.  Summer flies by!  I wanted to share my "mothers joy".  I had both my kids together, first time in 2 years!  I can't tell you how it felt to be a semi-normal family again!  I did post some pictures on FB, but not one person said anything.. so my joy sorta deflated and I guess I have been thinking, nobody really cares.. so I will take a break.. and enjoy my moments by myself and not share.  ( I get like that sometimes!).

We kept the "family visit" light. ( July)  Nothing heavy and tired to meet everyone needs.  I think everyone was nervous to be together again, after all the anger, lost dreams, shattered hearts.  But, I have to say, both kids stepped up to the plate.  Andy really put forth an effort, which made me happy.  He could have easily given us his grunts and attitude, but he didn't.  It wasn't 5 minutes and I heard the sibling laughs, the teasing, the old stories.  Oh how that warmed my heart!  Emily didn't push and or over do.  She seemed to accept what was being offered without wanting more.

Emily now is going on 11 months.  I can honestly say, there were points in this journey I never thought that was possible.  I know in the blink of an eye, it can go back..that's always lurking under the surface.  She is moving along and is now working in the office and doing intakes and is the leader of a group of women.  She is running groups and is signed up to take seminars for certification starting in Sept.  She still has 13 to 14 months in this program, but I guess all the past places we paid for, actually helped her and somethings did sink in.

Tomorrow I will be taking my son back to college.  Bitter / Sweet.  But, it's time, amazing how the cycle of life really does work... It's time for him to go out there and sink or swim again.  I have to be honest, I am not one of those mom's who will miss turning out every single light 10 times a day. Or, wake up to a 5th meal cooked at midnight and all the dishes, pots, pans, pizza pan, left on the counter.  I won't miss tripping over size 11 shoes, and he has more shoes than me I think.  But I really will miss his daily phone calls from his way home work asking if I need anything.  His texts to tell me the guys are coming over to make a fire and hearing the voices bantering or laughing.

My husband and I will be heading back to see Emily in Sept and then she will get a home visit in October, as it will be a year.  Hopefully Andy will join us that weekend, but I have learned not to push.

Hope everyone had a great summer!