Walking to School and packing lunches. There was nothing wrong with that. If I took a poll most of us would say we did it as kids. Heck, I was still taking the big yellow bus to school my sophomore year because I wasn't 16 until my junior year.
Well that is what I made my son do today. Let's say it was NOT a good Valentines Day here.
Let's start with the nice dinner my husband tried to take me to and I tried to tell him, I am not in the "mood". Who can think of food when my daughter is on a downward spiral and I can't stop it and I feel the only out come will be 6 feet under or if she is lucky an 8 x 10 cement room with bars.
During dinner, I had to express my concern.. it's on my mind. I had to reach my husband, I had to add up the facts to him. I could not back down , I could not shrug my shoulders in defeat and think, just wait ,wait til something bad happens. Finally he said.. ok I will call her and tell her I am coming down tomorrow and bringing a drug test. I said, you don't tell her your bringing a drug test. You can't give her a clue.. how many times, are you/we gonna make the same mistakes over and over. I finally said, you are a smart man, that is one thing I loved when I met you, you challenged my brain. But, you have quit thinking with your brain and our daughter, you use your heart and I don't understand how a smart man can do that anymore when the situation is so dire.
I said allow me to ask you some questions. Do you feel with her DOC, that if she is not fanatical in her recovery she will make it? He said yes, I agree with that. I said do you agree that with her DOC, she will end up either in jail or dead? He said yes, I agree. The light bulb went off.
We made a plan.. a quick plan, but at least it's something for now.
I will explain the plan in the next post.. because really this one was about walking to school and packed lunches..
My husband went upstairs randomly last night.. smelled something. Oh yes, my son had just smoked pot up there. Begging my husband not to tell me, saying another Holiday ruined for Mom, she can't take it. Little did he know, my Holiday was over the day before.
I haven't yelled in a long time, honestly, I know it does not good. But I yelled and honestly, it felt good. I yelled this crap is illegal.. my kids are to respect the fact this is MY home and I don't accept having illegal substances in it. And, this little pot, leads to other things.. you can easily inherit addiction from this family!
I said hand over your keys, your phone, your ipod, your bank card. Go get me your computer router and your xbox live. And then get your butt to bed. He then had the nerve to ask me for lunch money. I said no, pack your lunch, there is plenty of food here.
Fast forward to 8am. My husband finds him still in bed sleeping. Over slept. Imagine, you smoke pot and you dont' get up for school. He is begging my husband to wait and take him to school. That's when I got involved. I said no, you can walk and without a note from me. It's unexcused.
All I can think is swim districts are this weekend. Any other year, he would have been up at 4:45 am for practice for the big weekend. And he would have made States.
Instead, I have decided that I am going to drive to him NA meetings, his jobs and more counseling. Let him hear the stories in the rooms when the people say, I started smoking pot and drink in my teens. Let him see that walking to school will be no different than walking to a dead end job because he has chosen to smoke some pot.
Some may this is harsh or I am strict because my choices of punishment. But you can't be to harsh or strict with the war on drugs in your family. Maybe if we went back to the walking to school, packing lunches, taking away all the electronics these kids are so attached to, there might a less of a drug problem. When you pick up a little phone and text to get something almost instantly, there is a problem. And this ain't my first rodeo, this takes prisoners, I know, I won't let it happen again.. or at least I will go down fighting , maybe flinging lunch meat on my way.