The past can haunt you.. it doesn't matter if you live one day at time or one moment at a time. It's there.. and it can seep in like that dank water... out of your control.. and the Let Go, Let God becomes not as easy as you think.
After the moving days, ( which is still going on today), after the "shocking" news of Andy's coworker.. I get another call. My friend, Kim. Her son and Emily were friends. I have written about them. Her son did the wilderness, while Emily went to therapy school.. has news I should be aware of. She knows not tell me "gossip" or "bad" things. That I have requested a break from it. Instead of putting my head in the sand, I will put my head in the big snowbank for awhile. In other words, I need a break. So when she calls to tell me the latest, she feels I need to know.
While I am on the phone with her, I am walking around looking in corners for that smell.
Joey has been finally kicked out his house. He and this other kid David were living in David's car. Until they crashed it. It was impounded. Searched. They got possession of illegal substance, receiving stolen goods, selling stolen goods. They are couch surfing, living on the streets and have a court date Feb 28th.
Ok, but this exactly what I don't want to know.. I don't care about any of them.. except my own. Good riddens. Where is my snowbank? Well it's melted in house and starting to smell..
Put 2 and 2 together. Emily's apt was broken into.. several times. These boys were friends with the guys Emily lived with.
And guess where Joey and David are getting their heroin?? Ronnie and Rusty.
I can let go, let God, but, I can also lock my house tight and put on the alarm again.
I was forced to pull my head out of the snowbank , because it melted and seeped into my house.
And the past is staring me in the face, my family and my son
And to live one day at a time, also means to plan for the future and don't discount the past.
It also means being tested time and time again
And, to grab that mop and keep my area clean. But it's not easy and a lot of hard work.
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oh man....this is awful. what is your son's take on all of this ? How does he feel about staying where he's working? I'm sorry to hear this. I know just what you mean,...just keeping your own area clean feels so tough at times.
ReplyDeleteWell funny you ask.. LoL.. it doesn't end sometimes. My son and I are alone right now.. perfect chance to talk. I told him he can quit. He said he can take care of himself, but thanks Mom for that option, I will keep that in mind.
ReplyDeleteMy husband just called.. said things stink.. something is off. He doesn't know what it is. Nothing is adding up and he isn't getting any information from Emily or her roommate. So he will do his job, get her stuff and leave.