We were hit with yet another winter storm. As my son paced the floors waiting to hear if there was snow day last night, I paced behind him, worrying about Emily being cold, wet, hungry. And let me tell you.. I know this is what she needs to do to reach another bottom... doesn't make it easier.
I did go away this weekend. I was really on the fence about it, but I went. My friend is understanding and patient. I had one request when I left. That my husband get rid of Emily's pile of stuff in our garage that is next to my car. I hate getting out, looking at all her stuff, getting in my car.. seeing all her things she doesn't care about, including shampoo. So it is all packed up and yet another bed ready to go to the garbage tonight.
Her boyfriend, or should I say , old boyfriend and I have been texting. He is hurting. I am in shock he even cares. He is young, I would think he could move on quickly.. but he is struggling. He thanks me for understanding and listening. My god, could she have let a "normal" one go? I think so. She probably doesn't think she deserves him.. and right now, she doesn't. But in some way, this has been healing for me.. texting with him. Even if I am telling him to set his boundaries, be strong, understand addiction.. it helps me.
Friday night, I got a text from him, that scared me. It read:
Sorry. Worked all day. Been torn on the inside. No idea where the house is but I know she is working at Columbus Gold ( strip club). For the record I didn't tell you anything. I don't wanna be involved with anything of this sort anymore. Good Luck, please get that girl some help. I don't want anything to come back and haunt me.
Yesterday he texted me, said he saw her.. just wanted to let me know she was alive. He said:
I have come to realize it's pretty harsh. When I hung out with her last Thursday all she did was cry in my arms. Wasn't my happiest moment.
Makes me think of my Octopus post.. it reaches and sucks you in.
My Mom called this weekend. I wasn't here. My husband talked to her and told her everything. I shelter my Mom anymore.. she is getting older and she worries. Last summer we had that fight about her worrying about me and not understanding why I worry about my daughter. So I don't' tell her much any more. So now I have added worrying about my Mom worrying about me to my list... The Octopus again...
Well off to put one foot in front of the other today.