Saturday, August 21, 2010
Emotions like a Roller Coaster
It's been just over 1 week and I can't say the roller coaster ride I've been on is over..yet. The update. My husband did rent an apt for Emily. If you remember I was not "pro" this idea. He said to me, you can support her or not. What a choice he gave me. So in the Spirit of the ride, I decided to try and support her.
I picked her up Friday night.. by the time she decided she wanted to do this, prayed on it, and by the time it was official, the apt was hers, if she wanted, it was rush hour. She told me while I was driving she would pack. I pulled into her town and called her.. she said... oh *hit, I have to pack. I asked what she had been doing?? Nothing came to her mind.
I went into Sals. I have to say.. it was very nice, clean, smelled like a good dinner. As we were checking her out, the worker on duty said, you know, if you stayed just 2 weeks longer we assist with deposit, rent, electric , etc. I just looked at her..another good opportunity gone.
The whole drive home, she was on her Boost Track phone.. which I found out includes Internet and Facebook. I asked her to put the phone down and talk with me, since I don't see her much and to get paper and pen and make a list. I included calling the Food Stamp place, to give her new address... because I do this my clients.. and I know the guidelines... but honestly, what do Mother's know?
We got home at 8 pm. 8:05 , her friend Justin was at the door. They planned on going to a party. Both my husband and I said NO. I said we are not ready for that and you have a lot to do. She claimed she needed to do laundry for interview clothes, etc. He left at 11:30pm and Emily remembered she had wet clothes in a garbage bag in my car. She wondered why I hadn't done it... I said, I told you could use my facilities, but I was not doing the work..
Woke up to Emily gone.. She and Justin went to breakfast at 8 am, as he was leaving for his sober support in Prescott. I smelled something... looked in the dog cage.. Lucy had gotten very sick. Come to find out.. Emily was searching the pantry late the night before.. dropped the Kashi chocolate covered fiber bars on the floor and too lazy to pick them up.. so Lucy had a midnight snack with wrappers included. So I made her clean that up too. Then I check Emily's room. I asked her to put it back the way she found it please.
I still wasn't sure if I was going to asst in moving day. Around noon , I decided to. I hit, ironically, a Sals. They had all their furniture 1/2 off. So I got a futon, because my husband thought he should buy her yet another bed, new. I got a chair and coffee table and a few lamps, that's all that would fit, thankfully, because I love a 1/2 sale at Sals! A huge storm came, most people were pulling over.. I kept trucking.. then I hit the orange barrels.. so it took me 5.5 hours to get there... by then I wasn't much help.. tired. We went to dinner at this cute tikki place.. I had fresh grouper, hard to find in Ohio. The waitress's were wearing different colored tye-dye t-shirts and jeans. And they said they were hiring.. we suggest she come back there and apply. No reaction.
She is on the 3rd floor with no a/c. Against our better judgement.. I was sent to Walmart to buy the last 3 fans the store had, blinds, light bulbs, sheets, oh about 200.00 worth of stuff.
That was 1 week ago. I have not heard from her. My husband has, I have not. But I guess he is paying the rent , I am not.
She did get a job, 10 am to 5:30 pm , 6 days a week, off Saturdays. There goes IOP. Guess it wasn't a priority.
Meanwhile, my husband left last Sunday for business til Thursday. He got back in time for our counseling appointment with Andy. The counselor basically told us.. Andy is formed. We are not his primary influence anymore. He is a great kid, he has had lots of opportunities, lots of potential and he made some bad choices. Due to us being hyper sensitive about the issue, we might digging in a place that will come up empty. Our job is to keep doing what we do. Give consequences and follow thru and don't dwell and don't be bullied into changing our mind about our consequences. Enjoy our time left with him and his Senior year.
I kept stressing.. I am worried about addiction. It's in our extended family, our family. The counselor explained to me, I can't stop it.. I can't control it... geesh those words that took me so long to "accept" with Emily. I don't like to accept that Andy is formed and we are not his primary influence... when did time fly and when will I get off this ride?