Tight Rope Walker

Tight Rope Walker

Sunday, March 20, 2011

The Statement - From her

Last night we got a call from a weekend staff employee at the state rehab. She wanted to read a "statement" from Emily to us.

First, the good news is, she still there. Can you say sleep? I slept very well last night.

The "statement" said : Emily would like BOTH of you to visit next Saturday from 12 to 2 pm, visiting hours.

She would like a few more clothes, $5.oo, and not necessary , but would be nice for a few packs of cigs and gave the brand, type.

I am on the fence about this. I have to think like an "addict".. which is self absorbed, manipulative, etc.

My guess is, since it was Saturday yesterday, the other girls had family visits and in good moods. Emily did not have anyone there, so she caved and agreed to have BOTH of us visit.
And, these other girls got clothes, money, cigs from their loved ones, so it is an opportunity for Emily to get some "stuff" too.

In the past, if there were family visits, I rearranged my schedule to be there.. no questions asked. I was armed with things for her and the other girls. Reward the recovery! Show you are proud of her and be there.

This time I do not feel like jumping or asking how high.

The only thing we have decided it will be both of us going or neither of us going. We will be united in that decision.

I have 6 days to think about it and make my decision. I believe my husband does want to go. So it will be on me... and I need to be OK with my decision. I am just not sure I am ready to go thru this all again, hopes up, support given, only to be let down. I don't know if I can take it.

Thanks! Hugs, Kelly


  1. This is the part that always tortures me. We want to praise them when they are trying to get sober or stay sober, but then how much is too much? My son's first time in rehab (and only) I did the same thing - never missed visitation even when it was everyday, and when it went to twice a week, I made a trip everyday with snacks, cigarettes, change and anything else he needed.

    If he went again I don't think I would drop everything like before but I probably would still see him and give him things as he needed. I think I made it too comfortable for him.

    Good luck. I am very interested in what your decision is and if you go how the visitation went. She is still there which is a good sign.

  2. I hear ya, Kelly... Our latest dilemma was whether we should put money on our son's books, while he's in jail. I agree with Tori, and I think we all were at their beck and call the first time around- but, we do get smarter! I still choose to "stay close" but really work on keeping my boundaries and motivation in check. And, I don't put son first anymore. Good luck in making your decision, whatever you decide- it will be the right one! Hugs!