Monday, March 28, 2011
She is suppose to move today
Well we have not heard a thing since I dropped of the stuff on Thursday. Emily is suppose to move to the Aster House today. I still get that "nervous" feeling, when I do not hear anything. But, I know I need to work on knowing she is safe, I am not in control and I have to "trust" the higher ups. I was reading the website. The program is not for 6 months it is for UP to 6 months. There is a difference. I read the criteria. Has to be a very high risk for relapse. Has to have a lack of sober tools, skills. Has to have no sober living situation. Of course that scared me. High risk for relapse. Great. Lack of sober tools or skills. Well since July of 2008, she has 25 months of rehabs, programs, therapy, so where are those skills or tools learned? No sober living situation, hummm our house is sober and I have given her the name and numbers of many sober living homes. She knows when and where every meeting in our town is. She has numerous names and numbers of sober people, here and around the country. I guess none of it matters. As she says, she is an adult and in charge of her recovery or relapse. Doesn't mean as a Mother, I don't worry or wish things could be different.
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I have done so much research and read everything I could find and still do. Addicts need longer than a few months in rehab or sober living. At least 92% of them do. I hope that she is able to stay for a lot longer and most importantly stay long enough to want to stay longer and embrace sobriety.
ReplyDeleteI just finished a book called, “The Lost Years” it was really, really good. I forgot the Author’s last name but her first name is Kristina and she is now an Intervention Specialist. Reading her book proved to me even more everything I have read that treatment is needed for a long time.
I pray your daughter stay as long as possible.
I went to a N/A meeting yesterday and after hearing how long some of these people took to get sober and how many times they were in jail and rehab gives me a lot of hope.
Kelly - this could very well be THE rehab/treatment program that 'sticks' for Emily. Even though she has relapsed before, she has also learned some things, as a result. Timing is every thing. AND, the dynamics of who is there with her in recovery, both staff and other patients, are also important factors that are completely out of your control. Yet, they can make a very big difference. I understand your reluctance to hope for too much. But maybe for a little bit of time, you can get some relief from worry and will at least know that Emily is in a safe place. As you know, the real work of recovery begins when she's released. I'll be praying for all of you. Peggy
ReplyDeleteTori is right regarding her reserach. The problem we have here in the U.S. is that our programs are too expensive and far too short.
ReplyDeleteThe book, "The Lost Years" is outstanding. I have read over fifty books on addiction and that one is in my top ten. The authors are Kristina Wandzilak and Constance Curry.
In prayer for all our children.
Just found your blog.
ReplyDeleteMy daughter has been a heroin addict for the last 17 years. She's been in and out of numerous rehabs. She's in one right now. Due for release this Saturday. She's never done a rehab longer than 90 days. Maybe this is her "time", maybe it's not. I've no idea.
Like Pglud said "the real work of recovery begins when she's released" and if nothing changes, then nothing changes.
Two years ago my husband and I filed for legal guardianship of her three children. Our time and interest right now is invested in those children. Our daughter and her recovery is her business. We are pretty much weary of it all and have long ago totally detached.
Hope your daughter does well.
God Bless
Thanks everyone!
ReplyDeleteYes, I read the Lost Years.. donated to the last place she was in. The girls loved it. Emily said I was so much like the Mom in the book. I too, have boat loads of books and have read for many years.
And I agree about "after care". I have had many lunches with our therapsit and she says the same thing.. we can send our kids or young adults to every program under the sun and then it's after that is the problem and there needs to much more after care for them.
Thanks again! Kelly