A friend of mine, whose daughter is an addict, called me this AM. Her daughter is getting close to admitting she has a problem and is close to considering detox and long term rehab. You know how the prospect of jail enlightens them a little more quickly...but anyway, she wanted her Mom to send her a pizza, as she had not eaten in two days.
That brought me back to my feelings exactly one year ago today, when my daughter assured me she was really considering going back to her sober living, but she was hungry and could I have a pizza delivered to her bedbug infected hotel room.
What is it with pizza. Why do they ask for that, when they are so close to doing what we want so badly?
The scene was: I was sitting at dinner with my son and then we were headed to the Mall to get his Homecoming clothes. My husband was out of town. My phone rang, it was Emily. I should not have answered it. She was chit chatting, I am impatiently waiting for the real reason for the call. I said , several times, "listen, this is not a good time right now. I am having quality time with your brother and we are at dinner and heading to get his Homecoming clothes, can I call you later?"
That sparked her response. It's always about him! He always comes first! I am down here struggling and hungry.
My son is sitting there shaking his head, saying no, don't do it Mom.
There went our quality time dinner together.
But, I listened to him, I said no Emily, I am busy right now.
I have to say, it felt good. No one wants their child to go hungry, especially me, who feels a good home cooked meal cures all. BUT, she would not have been hungry IF she had gone back to her program, IF she had made other choices. I could hear my Reiki Master in the back of mind, let those bed bugs bite, let that stomach growl with hunger.
Emily made another call after the one to me. To her Dad, who was out of town, who ordered them a pizza. "It's just a pizza" after all.
My friend ordered her daughter a pizza last night. "It's just a pizza, after all".