Tight Rope Walker

Tight Rope Walker

Thursday, September 9, 2010

Drug Testing

Drug Testing: I hate it.. that's honest. I have been drug tested for jobs and it's the new normal in the work place now. Do I believe it should be done... in some cases...yes, absolutely. I do not want my child's bus driver using illegal drugs while driving my kids home from school.
It has become a staple in my home. Too bad Cosco's doesn't sell them in bulk, but I have my connection... ebay sells in bulk. It's like buying k-up anymore.
I got wind my daughter was using. This too is my new normal... getting phone calls, texts, facebook messages, instantly when something goes amiss. What to do with that information? Well given our history, her history, you do what you can as a parent.
Saturday night - big party night right? I got my friend and we drove up to test Emily. We got there at 12:30 am. Is this my new normal..?? maybe. I wanted a plan and a back up plan. What if she wasn't home? What if she was home and wouldn't answer. What if she tested clean? What if she tested that she used? My friend calmly said, we will know what to do when the situation arises.
We pulled on to her street. Up ahead , where her apartment is, were 3 to 4 Cop cars. You can imagine how I felt. There are only 2 red lights from where we were to her apt. I hit them both. As soon as I could get close enough, the cop cars with people in them, took off.
Being the stake out Mom's that we are, we parked away from her apt parking lot. Walked up the dimly lit wooden rickety steps and knocked. No answer. No one was there. Called her , no answer. Texted her , no answer. Was she in the back of one of those police cars?
Finally my husband got a hold of her. She called me, not too happy at all. Wouldn't let me pick her up from her "friend's house". Wouldn't let me meet them. Said it would take awhile for her to walk home. I don't like that.. because I know if she is given any amount of time, she will pass a drug test.. this was to be unannounced on a Saturday night. She called back. She said she had nothing to hide. Her friends have nothing to hide and they would be glad to meet me. So I went to get her. Yes, I met 3 guys. 3 guys that had been drinking. They were polite, they were respectful and they were obviously worried about her... as she had an attack the night before in her apartment from a girlfriend in her program. According to this girl, Emily was using, her kit was there. According to Emily, this girl was drunk and threw something at her.
So that is why I was standing in the middle of the street at 1:00 am on Sunday morning, in a town I do not know.
We went to her apartment. She still was vicious with her words. But, she did 2 things, she packed her stuff, laundry included to come home for the rest of the weekend.. and she took a drug test, which I produced with cup in hand. She passed.
I looked around, my friend looked around. The apartment was not clean, clean like I like clean. But, it was not trashed like her last one did when she was using. There was nothing, nothing anywhere I could see. This was an ambush, I expected to find bottles, cans, wrappers, maybe needles... but there was nothing but dirty laundry and a clean drug test.
While driving home, she apologized for her reaction. She said she has been working on her initial reaction when she hears something she doesn't like and it didn't work this time. She was sorry. She knows I have her best interests at hand and heart and if I have to do this to keep myself sane, she understands and she was very sorry her words were so hurtful and immediate.
She was not slurring her words, she was not acting like she used.
She is lazy by nature, so I figured, something would show up in her laundry. I was waiting, nothing.. nothing showed up but a lighter and some changed.
We shopped for small misc things, an interview outfit and my husband took her back on Monday early evening. He spoke with her landlord. The landlord said he got complaints about a fight between the girl that came to Emily's apt and that's girls boyfriend and he was putting a property restraining order on them.
We have randomly drug tested her 3 times, unannounced, she passed 3 times.
I won't tell you this give me a whole lot of comfort thou.
Tuesday morning I wake up, check my phone.. I have Facebook notices. Emily has taken me off as her friend, but others have sent me pictures from Monday night at her apartment. She is with Pete, who is homeless and the basic reason she got kicked out of her program. There is the other girl's boyfriend, who has a property restraining order against him and she is in the new shirt I got her, so it's recent.
Boys are another one of her addictions. There is no test for that, but is Facebook and all the many photos they think are so cool to post. Too bad it's not old days, when you had to take the film in to be developed, Cosco could be making even more money.
That was my Tuesday morning. Tuesday afternoon, she texted, she got a job. Yes a J-O-B. It's for a wonderful independently owned grocery store. I have clients that work at the one here. We are a bigger city and we only have one, Emily's town is smaller and has 2. They promote, they pay for school, give benefits, like a family.
It's all so bitter sweet, living with an addict in your life
Ok off to bid on some drug test on ebay


  1. Interesting post for me, as I have been involved - like you, in a similar fashion with my addicted child. I finally had to quit as I am worn out.

    It's good when they start passing drug tests and get a J.O.B.

  2. VJ-
    I am worn out too... to the point my health was at stake... you'd think I'd get the hint.. and in many ways I have..
    But Heroin will kill my daughter and I will find energy to make sure she is offered some kind of help one last time.. that one last time may take my lifetime, but I do not want lose my child before I go.
    Right or wrong, if she was using, she'd be dead.

    Keeping you and your child in my thoughts and prayers.. it's never easy is it?

  3. Why do you drug test your adult daughter who has her own apartment? When do you plan on backing up a bit?