My phone was ringing... and I was like the phone can wait, I want to spend a quality 30 or 60 minutes with him.
I retrieved my message the next morning. 3 from Emily. Crying, choking, wishing I would pick up to help her, but knowing if anyone found she used the phone , she would be in big trouble. I am glad I did not pick up. For many reasons. I was just telling her friend how well she was doing and how she only asked about him and nobody else. She said she was thinking of leaving and the sleep deprivation was too much for her and would look up on line another program near there which is also long term and free.
Let me tell you, my heart ached for a few minutes, the Mother in me. Then I remembered she was an addict. Her mind works for her benefit only. So by us having a great visit with her, it opened the door for her to call me and want to move to yet another place, thinking it will be easier and it won't and she won't do the hard work she needs to do and moving to different places over and over again, isn't working. I remembered she is actress. She could win awards in that area. I remembered she is lier, manipulator. I remembered she is newly sober and things really don't change over a short amount of time, they change by working a program long term.. in for the long haul.
Several people asked me why I have not called the program to get details. Several reasons, I like that I am not active in her program.. it's hers, not mine. I need the break. I am sure this place is used to this and can handle it. And I don't wanna get her in more trouble... I know she will be caught and I know they will take care of it.
The only thing is, if she did leave or leaves, I would like to know. I know she is capable of doing it and in all honesty, more capable of doing that , than staying and doing the hard work. I hope they would call me if she left. Not that I could do anything, but it's not like she is around the corner and in a place she knows how to survive in.
So please continue to keep us/ her in your prayers and thoughts this Holiday Season. There is no gift that could ever replace the power of prayers to keep our children safe and healthy.