Tight Rope Walker

Tight Rope Walker

Saturday, January 8, 2011

I am not Shocked or Surprised...

I was headed to bed last night, and my husband said, can you talk for a minute about something very serious??.. and I mean serious. I thought.. oh great, his company is being sold or they are laying off. It's a small company. We are part owners or partners. We own the paperclips.. but paper clips have good benefits after we paid them off. The CEO is my age. Type A personality. Has a posy of friends. He is very bright and plays as hard as he works. His wife happens to be the CFO. She is not an owner or shareholder thou. I used to hang out with them, til I couldn't keep up.. energetically or financially.

2 years ago she called me. We chatted, reunited, had lunches together. We talked about our husbands egos. We talked about feeling like single parents because they are always travelling. We talked about their drinking, we talked about the company paying for all the drinks. She told me her husband drinks more than I or anyone knows. It had gotten out of hand to the point he had a huge fight with his oldest son one night. Swore off drinking and the next morning he had vodka in his coffee cup in the porch. She knew I had been through alot... I suggest Hazeleton or Betty Ford. He is always out of the office any way.. nobody would know. Time goes by, nothing changes if nothing changes.

We haven't done a lot with them in awhile. Mainly, my husband quit drinking and they are in the "fast" crowd. We have rented their condo in Naples FL, we have laughed on Facebook. But we aren't back and fourth at each other's houses anymore. My husband has described himself as the Kissinger of the company. He is now the quiet peace keeper during or after the deals are being made. He is not, fast , slick, deal maker anymore. He is not going to martini bar after anymore.

Well last night he told me, the CEO called him last Monday and said his wife kicked him out. Said he made her ill and she is done. What can he do? He can't live without her. She said it was due to his drinking. I am not shocked or surprised... like others. My husband suggested AA. Well 5 days later, he hasn't gone to a meeting and now feels his wife is at fault just as much as he is. He doesn't need to change, cause she is the one that kicked him out... so she is wrong. And besides that, he has quit drinking.. sometimes for 2 weeks at a time, so he can quit any time he wants. Sound familiar??

I know they were at their condo in FLA for Christmas. And he said they had a great time. I know every New Years Day they are home and have a big party.. a hung over party. I quit going a few years ago... I know she planned this to the minute. She wanted a nice Christmas for her 3 kids, then they had big plans for New Years and then she told him. I also know, it was not easy. I am not talking hundreds of thousands of dollars to be divided up.. I am talking maybe a few million. I know their nice lifestyle will change. I know he begged her before the economy crashed to sell her condo in FL and invest in something else.. and it was hers, her inheritance from her dad.. and she refused and he was mad.. but I know, she knew she would do this some day and needed that. It was hers.. all hers and she needed it for later on.

I also know his ego might be slightly bigger than my husbands and he does not get it and will not get it. I know he has been at the Cleveland Clinic for IBS for years and is always trying some new experimental procedure to get well. I know his grandma died of alcoholism. Liver shut down... after being sober for 14 years and relapsing.

I know we are all in our 40's and thinking if I am not happy and life has gone by so fast so far, why should stay in some unhappy relationship for the next 40? There is more to life.

I also know, even thou this is personal, what will happen to the company with the CEO and CFO divided? You can't take sides. You also can't ignore the well being of the company and employees. My husband would be considered top heavy.

So I am not surprised or shocked.. but I am worried. And I am very sad.. this disease has hurt another family. More kids will be effected. More lives destroyed for awhile. It very much saddens me.


  1. Awww Kel that sucks. For everyone involved. It just proves the old adage that stuff like this knows no boundaries: economic, age, employment, gender..it's everywhere.

    Are you going to talk to the wife? She's going to need emotional support, sounds like she'll be ok financially but that's only part of it.

    I hope everything is ok with the company, for you and Doc.

  2. I haven't reached out to the wife yet. I am not really suppose to know yet. I will when it becomes public.. and I know I will end up telling her I knew earlier. But she knows I am here for her.. as we have chatted about it before.
    I know she will need emotional support, just not sure I am the right person for that... If I take a side, it might hurt Doc at work. That's the scary part of this for us. I believe she and the kids will be ok, probably even better than ever.. but it will take time to see that for them.

  3. I went back and read a lot of your posts. Sounds like we have a lot in common - Oxi (smoking it) with my son. Even when he is supposedly sober he is a jerk. I know he isn't high all the time which give me more hope but I have been through the suicide (twice), intervention, and all the other drama. Dealers, etc.

    Maybe I didn't read far back enough, when and why is your daughter not living with you? She is 18? Just wondering what happened that she left or you had her leave. We had my son leave during an Intervention last April where he was given the choice to go to Rehab or leave. He decided to leave.

    I wish you all the best.

  4. Tori- In the beginning of this blog.. I was transfering my post from the ODR site.. to give the background. Then I got a new comp and they wouldn't copy. I can make a background post.. it might help.. and help me as I write it. Hugs, Kelly