Tight Rope Walker

Tight Rope Walker

Wednesday, January 19, 2011

Background or the water under the bridge

Tori asked in a comment, the background of Emily sounded similar to her child.. but I never finished it. I was copying my posts from ODR in the beginning.. got a new computer and it won't copy any more for some reason.

I think the problems started at age 12 or 13 when we moved from Cleveland to Columbus. Not saying we wouldn't have the same outcome had we stayed in Cleveland.. I just can't answer that. All the signs were there.. not turning in homework, friends were more important than family, consequences made no differences, not being where she said she was.. etc.

Then came the sneaking out, ppl dropping her off at the top of development, us not knowing her friends, changing schools ( thinking that was the solution)... a suicide attempt. Finding pot, pipes, a few little pills, some beer cans, vodka bottles around. Around age 15 -16.

Conflicts at home between my husband and I. He felt it is was normal experimentation.. everyone is doing it. Many therapy appointments, addiction specialist, individual counseling, etc. I remember saying.. the only way to get my husband to see there is a problem is if she gets caught by the law.. while I was saying that to my friend, it was happening! She was 17.

So July of 2008- we took her to a therapy school. Starr Commonwealth. She spend 9 months there. Started home visits and started sneaking out again.. only to use heroin. She missed a 25K college scholarship for music therapy because of her behavior at the school and checked herself out 2 days after she turned 18. April 2009. Thank god she graduate high school there.

She had money coming when she turned 18, we took the money to get her an apt. Paid 6 months and she was evicted in 3 weeks. Partying, underage drinking, noise.

She moved in a heroin house. No running water, no electric.. you know the type. I got a call from a friend of hers that she was out of control.. sick. Got her to come home and go the hops for an infection in her foot, due to a dirty needle. By June of 2009, she was slowly dying. She agreed to go to an adult rehab. Glenbeigh. Did 35 days there, paid some of it with her money. We spent Father's Day at the rehab, family day. Ha! Then did their step down program until Aug.

Left there for a sober living in Delray Beach Fl. The company is no longer in business. But, she was using shortly.. roxy's and oxy's. Got kicked out of there.. lived in a bed bug infested motel room with some guy she met. I tried to get the Marsh Act.. we were not supporting or in communication during this time. She called and said it was too much, she was going back to the sober living. She had been there 1 or 2 weeks in Oct of 2009.. and was brutally raped and beaten. She was trying to sell an ipod she had stolen. I spoke to the police det. He told me if it was his daughter he would come get her.. Delray is not place for a young girl in recovery, he has no clue why so many recovering people flock there. I went to get her. She moved home.

We jumped into action.. counseling, rape advocacy, girls group with her old counselor, etc. She got a job at our local Starbucks. We were working on getting her driving temps. ( I never felt right letting her get her license) Within 3 weeks.. she was back at it with old friends here. She stole our credit cards, checks, got caught, went to jail.. week before Thanksgiving. Got out of jail and went to live with her dealer and his parents.. just down the road. The few times I saw her, her hands were full of needle marks. We kept our message clear, repeated over and over, detox, a program, or don't call us.

I got a call Jan. 2010 from a woman from Macy's. She was caught stealing. She wanted to talk to me. She asked me to come get her.. I said only if I take you to detox. She said OK. Well it was a level 1 snow storm.. and we missed the intake time. She had to come home. We tried again .. she got in and they said she qualified for our State rehab, only problem it could be up to 10 weeks to get in, you have to call every day. Long story short, my husband was travelling, sending me mixed message on what my "babysitting" job should include and not include. Like meetings.. I was in my jammies and she wanted to go to a meeting.. there was only 20 minutes left.. it was cold , rainy.. he told me to take her.. there would be people to talk to her.. but she went to find someone to party with. He told me, how could I be trusting and take her to the meeting, knowing there be people using there.. That was my breaking point. I kicked them both out.. She had lied to me about work, had me take her there, she was in her uniform and all, and she never went. Things like that. Kicking them both out was the best thing I ever did.

He found a reasonable rehab, Neil-Kennedy. She went there. I never attended any weekends. It was my son's swim season and I needed him to know, I was not running to her every time she choose to do the right action. I had quality time with him, while my husband went to all the family things at the rehab. It was exactly 1 year ago. She had a horrible detox, ending up in the hosp due to the suboxen. But, she claims it was the best rehab, no frills, bottom of the bottom and she couldn't believe she ended up there.. so that's why it was the best in her eyes..she learned the most. They kept her as long as they could.. til they or us found another program. I was pushing for a 2 year program in NC. Venture Recovery. She spoke with them and she felt it would be too hard for her. Duhhh. And it didn't help her counselor said it sound like a commune.

In Feb or March of 2010 she went to the Beacon House. She did well. By May or June she was 5/6 months sober. We were repairing our relationship. I saw the old Emily coming back. She never looked healthier. She got her charges dismissed here, did her deposition for the case in FL. Got her temps. But, all good things come to an end. She got herself kicked out. Due to a homeless alcoholic guy. Which I think I write about here. She then went to the Salvation Army. My husband then got her an apt there, so she could have her support. She did good for about 2 weeks, doing IOP, etc. Then I believe her paid for apt became a party place. The apt blding was going in foreclosure.. so she had to get out. She moved herself back to Columbus. She is currently living in the basement with 2 guys as roommates. She has a job. She claims she is 1 year sober as of last Saturday. In spite of the pretty pink glass blown pipe I found in her purse. Her words: "You are never gonna believe this, but it's not mine". Your right, I don't believe it, but guess what, my husband does.. and took her to get her 1 year coin.

So that sums up the background. Leaving out all the drama, phone calls, crisis, lies, manipulation, hosp visits, appointments, etc.
Hugs, Kelly

1 comment:

  1. Thanks so much for sharing.

    Your post represents what all of must go through when dealing with our children and chronic addiction.

    I'm sad for you, for me and all of the parents but I know, where there is life, there is hope.

    In prayer for your daughter and all who suffer from thise disease.