Tight Rope Walker

Tight Rope Walker

Friday, January 7, 2011

Brought To Tears....

I have a thread on ODR. More on that in a minute. But I wanted to share the 2 posts I woke up to today.

First one is from an Administrator:

You mothers and father are an inspiration on how to detach healthily from your addict children.. ( healthily, is that a word?) I am very happy to see that this forum gets used as much as it does. Not only do you help yourselves and each other but no telling how many other parents, who just come here to read, have gotten help and inspiration from you guys! Thanks and God Bless all of you.

Krish, this thread alone is a gem. It shows an almost daily journal of your progression from a very distraught co-dependant enabler to the happy and peaceful beautiful lady you are today. You deserve every good thing that comes your way.

The next one is from someone I am not familiar with:

I must add to what xxxx said. Not only do you give inspirations to other parents but I am sure you have given inspiration to many addicts as well. I came to this thread late, but I have read the entire thing. It has given me inspiration and insight into what I was putting my own mother through; and what it would it would do to her if I kept using. She has tried to be so calm and strong for me; she always tried to hide the effects everything was having on her because she knew I was going through the fight of my life. ( She didn't know about my addiction until I told her which was a couple months ago when I first decided I was going to get clean). Anyway when I was having intense cravings and coming close to giving in those first few dark days I would come on this thread and read for an hour or two. I would think about my mother and that was usually enough to stop me from using; plus it killed an hour or two at a time :). But seriously I would come and read; with tears streaming down. I would walk away never wanting to use again. Thank you for sharing. I wish you and your family the best.

Who knew? I was literally crying this AM and very humbled. These posts touched me. I don't believe there is silver lining in addiction, but if there was one.. this would be it!

ODR is Opiate-detox Recovery public forum board. I had to go back and look, but I made my first post on Spet 12, 2009. That is not to say, when I first started dealing with my daughter's addiction, it's when I found out there was such a forum. My thread is under Friends and Family: My Daughter.

I was a lurker at first. I read and read.. and all I got out of it was hopelessness, despair, ugliness. It scared me. But I posted eventually. Basically I think I went there to whine to others who understood the anger I had that my family was destroyed. Vent my jealousy of other mother's and their daughters. To express my hurt that went to my very core. To tell how every Holiday sucked and so did a ringing phone. I wanted to hear.. it's ok to feel that way.. get sympathy or empathy. I got that... AND MUCH MORE. I heard other sides, I learned I needed to recover too. I met some fantastic friends along the way, some I speak to daily.

Today is not the first day I have been brought to tears from this thread, from post from people I do not know personally. I guess it's my "high", my silver lining in this whole mess.

Thanks ODR!
Hugs, Kelly

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