Tight Rope Walker

Tight Rope Walker

Monday, August 29, 2011

We Turn Into A Resource and She is Gone Again

Thank you for your prayers, comments and support.

I don't really know where to begin. Who and what she was involved in could be a book or movie. These are not exatly bath salts... more or less called "designer" drugs. And Rain, similar to meth. There are 'chemists". What they do is mix things that are legal or banned.. because banned does not mean illegal. Emily got paid ( alot) to try them out. She was video taped and recorded before they went for distribution. But it's basically like a "ring" or pyrmid.. she knew a lot. She could not just leave with all she knew. You dont just walk away. Several people she knew that tried to branch out on their own have gone missing or in jail for a long time. She claims since July 4th she does not remember anything... nothing. This stuff can be snorted, smoked or injected. She snorted it. My husband said all her track marks were gone. She never did say, what made her get out how she did. Or how she got a clear enough brain to know her days were limited.

My husband and she went to several places yesterday, intake , assessment, etc. Either they don't do assessments on the weekend or they say they do not treat this kind drug when she told them what she was addicted to. It was a series of letters or abbreviations, my husband could not remember them. There is no physical w/d. The ER or mental hosps dont treat it. It's too new.. but the effects are all psychological. Unless she is a threat to herself or others..nothing they will do.

I reminded him what he always says: That girl needs deep psychological help. Well now she went and messed with that. Not sure all that can be healed or recovered from.. form what we are reading , a lot of it can be permanent

He said she was extremely edgy, jumpy, he said ADD to the max. Delusional in the fact, she thinks she and the "real love of her life" will be together forever once he gets out of jail. Delusion that she is above and better than working a min. wage job. Her mind jumped form one thing to another. He finally told her to shut up.. be quiet for awhile, he couldn't take her pipe dreams and non sense any more. She ate a lot. They stopped for lunch, she ate a ton, she had him stop at gas stations to get more food. She had lost about 20 lbs. She kept saying she could not think. Her brain stopped working.. that's what she complained about. She could not put a thought together , let a lone a sentence.. it was more in mind he said, b/c she really didn't shut up. Babbling like.

He asked her if she had the urge to use again. She said she did only so she could think clearly again, not in the fact she wants to feel what it does to her. She said she has done so much and really hates the effects. She was ready to go get help yesterday.. anywhere.. unfortunately there was no where to put her yesterday. And we all know today is a new day.

So the question became where to take her. She can't come here. I was trying to think of someone with a cabin, I mentioned a far away state park, a hotel room. My husband said he was not spending one more red cent on her. He wanted away from her. He was NOT in a good mood. So she went to friends parents house. These are enabling parents.. they give alcohol to minors and have a cabinets full of pills.. extremely wealthy. So that's where she is now.

I drew my line and that was she hands her phone over to my husband, she gives me her email and password to take her f/b down. She did not do that. She is posting her location on it. She is stupid to do that and it tells me she is not willing to do anything to get help for herself. She wants those contacts close at hand, just incase. So I am out of it. I just told my husband I will not take 1 penny from our budget to help her. He feels she is an adult and if she chooses to post where she is and contact people to get drugs, then so be it. There is nothing we can do. I disagree, I know her, I have talked to her about, and I know if she is serious, she will do anything and that includes getting rid of her contacts, her sick photos and comments. And she is not doing it.

At this point, we have not heard from her. My husband is not sure he could find the house again..he was rattled when he dropped her off. So again we are at a 50/50 chance if she will ready to make the calls tomorrow. Many of the people willing to help us, have dropped off. I am sure they are sick of it too. Places and people are not returning his calls. I am not doing any of the work.. because I do not believe she is serious at this point.. and I believe she should be making the calls, not my husband.

It was a gorgeous day yesterday.. I only made it as far as the porch. I had no energy to do anything.. so today I woke up and said to myself.. I am going for my walk.. taking the dog to the dog park.. I am going to "live", I am not going to sink into some isolation again, I won't let that happen. I can't give her that control..while she is out living the high life.

So that's where we stand. Ugly basically.

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