Tight Rope Walker

Tight Rope Walker

Friday, June 18, 2010

Verdict is in...

Well last week, Emily went to court for her Macy's theft. She had completed the theft class and got a letter from her recovery center that said she is still there and working on her program. So ..drum roll.. those charges were exponged.
I am very happy for her. Who wants a record when they are so young??
However I am wondering exactly what she learned?

This week, we got a phone call from her counselor asking us to come up for a meeting with her and the head director this week. Immediately.. we ALL went into crisis mode. Wondering, is she getting kicked out?? What's plan B? Help?? All I can say .. is.. my reality check.. my son sat there saying.. NO NO NO she can't come home.. don't even think about it.. if you do.. I will leave!
Amazing how 1 phone message can put us right back to "survive" mode.
We did call back.. set up an appointment for this Monday.. after work.
Apparently.. Emily is manipulating us against them. Imagine.. a manipulator.. yes, I am being sarcastic.. We are going to get a copy of their rules.. which we have been asking for , for months.

Here is the deal.. Her court dates are like at 8 or 9 am. We have been having horrible weather.. storms, etc.. my husband has had retnia surgeries on both eyes.. he can't see well.. so for him to leave at 4 am.. 2 hours there, 2 hours back to court.. and turn around and either he or take her back by 5 pm.. is crazy. When he talked to cranky house mothers..they were very unkind.. unsympathtic.. and basically could give a crap and wanted off the phone so they can play their computer games. He asked them.. are you punishing her? no sir. are you trying to teach her a lesson? no sir. So why are you punishing me?? It's a matter of safety.
So I went above them.. left a message .. guess they didn't like that.. hence the need for an immediate meeting...

But you know.. with every addict.. there is another side. DANG.. why can't I remember that?? God knows it's been this way for years... I should be trained by now.

I get a call from Emily.. Wed or Thursday.. Mom, I need your help.. ok.. what Em? Well I need a letter from all of you of what my addiction did to you. Hey Em.. we've done this 3 times already.. remember? No , I don't remember. Ok I will do another one and print out the past ones. When do you need this by? dumb question.. yesterday.
I need it ASAP to go to phase 3.. in phase 3 there will be no problem with me spending the night before at home for my court dates. I just didn't want to ask you.. I delayed it. Well since I am feeling a little procrastination coming on myself.. guess you'll get, when you get it.

We chit chatted about stuff.. and I said.. hey wasn't it great your brother went with me last time and he actually came in and met the other girls?? I said that's a HUGE step. She said.. he was mean. I am like mean? We were all talking.. listening to music.. I was having fun.. was I in the same car? Mom... he is a spoiled brat.. and ya know what.. I worked hard on repairing my relationship with him and I am done. He's like an only child now and you guys are spoiling him.. and don't give me that.. he's a 17 year old boy crap..anymore.. WOW.. back to the selfishness.. it's all about me.. ungrateful.. Some things don't change when they get sober... infact they might get magnified.. because the haze is gone. Do you consider 1 letter repairing your relationship? Because he has years of hurt and anger.. 1 letter is not gonna repair that.. but oh yea.. I remember now.. you take the easy road... to justify your feelings and forget about others... Dang! I should be remembering this stuff!

So Monday is our meeting and Tuesday is her felony court date.. these might not be as easy to exponged.. but I sure hope she learns something...
Isn't it funny .. that I feel like she is gonna mess up after Tuesday... in the back of my mind is that ticking.. ticking.. she is only where she is because of court...

I guess I am off to spoil my son and go to dinner...


  1. Good news, Kel. Thinking of ALL of you a lot. My friend's daughter just had a felony charge dropped in CA, so I will keep my fingers crossed that Em gets the same luck.

    You are a wonderful, amazing mom.

    Love you!

  2. I hope you spoiled your son rotten and enjoyed your dinner. This is so hard, sometimes I wonder how in the world we manage to make it through the day...Keep taking care of yourself

  3. Thanks Jenny and Carolyn!

    Your right.. I am trying to manage to get thru this day... started that letter about 25 times and I still have a blank page..
    Macy's sale is making it's way to brain now..

  4. My addict daughter always was resentful of her younger brother, Brian, who showed me respect, was responsible, and took the time to listen to me,tried to understand where I was coming from, and participated in a mutual exchange of opinions and feelings. Yeah - I often liked him best, because he was reasonable, balanced, and accountable. So sue me! Don't be manipulated by your daughter's games and victim role. Take care of yourself. Peggy