Tight Rope Walker

Tight Rope Walker

Tuesday, June 8, 2010

Purple Hair, Piercings and Facebook

This is not my daughter.. grabbed this from the web. It could not be my daughter, as this looks professionally done. I might even like it on a normal day. But is there ever a normal day?
One of the ways I communicate with my daughter is via Facebook. The very place I had blocked several years ago. Now I am a proud member.
Her posts yesterday... send me back the "shock value" days.
I got a jankie piercing
I have purple hair and I don't care
Awhh the comments are long.. and on a normal day.. funny.
Our IM went like this:
M - a piercing huh?
E- yea yea.. hahahaha
M- With the money I gave you last weekend, I could have a had a healthy facial
E- hahahahahahaha.. your so funny mommy.
M- I am not trying to be funny
E- it was a belated birthday gift from a friend. Cost 15.00
M- hope it doesn't get infected
E- I know I know..you get what you pay for right??
M- I gotta run.. but I love you
E- I lovvvvve u 222222 Wait til you see my next post!
Next post:
I have purple hair and I don't care
Lack of maturity .. probably. Lack of filter: most definately
Hair has never been a battle. I have and will again pay for a good cut and color... within some guidelines.. I am paying.. I have to look at it.. so we compromise.
Anything else you pay for
I do not pay for your hair mistakes
I know deep in my heart, if she is alive.. at age 38 she will not have purple hair.
So what does all this bother me? If you have the answer, I would love to hear it.
Why do , after all the history, all the trama, all the relapses, all the sober time, are we back to this?
On a normal day... I might laugh.. but I haven't had a normal day in 5 years.
The tattoos... the piercings.. nose, eyebrow, belly button, the hair colors... crayola would be jealous of the colors she has come up with. My brother had a liver transplant due to a tattoo in Germany in the early 80's.
The "dare to be different" in her, is strong.
Sigh.. I guess I will take purple hair and a belly button ring over using heroin.
In the past ... they have co-insided. Leaves a bad taste in my mouth.


  1. Oh, Kelly. Much of this sounds so familiar. Is your daughter still using? You're right - the purple hair and piercings are metaphors for individuating and finding her own unique place in the universe. How old is she? Please know that just a month ago, I was certain my daughter would most likely be dead within a few weeks. Things can and do change, due to random variables. Hang in there. Stay hopeful, and let your daughter know that you will always be her mom, no matter what. Thinking of you. Peggy

  2. Thanks Peggy!

    No, she did this cold stone sober at age 19. She is currently in a treatment / recovery home.
    I can't wait to hear an update about Haley!

  3. Oh Kelly. My heart just breaks for everything you and E have gone through. I cannot imagine what you are feeling, just know that I love you both and think of you often. Wish we were closer.

  4. There are differences between laws, rules and behavor norms.

    My son has trouble with all 3. I wrote about them as they relate to addicts once. Granted purple hair is a minor issue as it relates to using but it relates to behavior norms. No matter if we like it or not society looks at this as abberrent behavior and it makes it hard for them to be taken serious. How that relates? We older folks are the people that hire and provide work, that puts them at a disadvantage. But they are living their life so I have to let it go, just as you do.

    The strangest thing though, Mom hates tattoos. Nothing religious ordered or anything she just does not like them. She told our kids once, you get a tattoo and you're out of the will. With all the things my son has done, he does not have a tattoo, and every single one of his drug buddies are covered. Sometimes they listen to the strangest things.