Tight Rope Walker

Tight Rope Walker

Thursday, February 9, 2012

First Letter

We got a letter from Emily.  It was dated Jan, 22, 2011, but postmark is Feb 7, 2011.  But, I wanted to share!  What scares me is, and I am being totally honest here, is, it's every addicts dream letter.  So I wonder how "real" it is.. isn't that sad I think that way??  My friend read it and she said, who cares if staged or they give her an outline, she is learning the right way to do things and that's not a bad thing... I had to agree.  Here it is, misspellings and all.



If you are receiving this letter that means I am finally in acclaimation and can call you ass soon as I receive a letter in response to this one from you! How are you?!! How is Andy? How is Lucy? Man, I miss guys a lot! I just got off “the move” a couple of days ago. I did 60 days! It was one of the most difficult yet forfilling challenges I ‘ve ever faced in recovery and the feeling of accomplishment, growth , pride and strength in completing all that “the move” time has made my recovery even more important to me. I feel like I can accept and pull through anything this program throws at me now. Almost all the girls that I came into this program with are gone now. Out of 8 of us transition girls, 2 are left and 1 is me! Today I woke up at 9 am and had a day off for the first time in 2 months.. and my leader had made me a cinnabun with a note that said “ I love you Eminemily!” on it. My other leader is working on getting a guitar donated for me to play. I feel like I have people who care about me here. I have real friends who want to see me succeed, but still care more about my life than mny feelings. I feel accepted , good qualities and character defects. I laugh here ALL the time, but I do cry a lot too. I have so much gratitude as well.

Speaking of, mom, remember when you used to ask us to do the Gratitude Notebook at the dinner table, and we all complained?? Now I see you were just trying to teach us gratitude. Mom and Dad, I am so sorry. You guys gave a great childhood, vacations, the Beck Center classes, being room mom, coaching, lessons on anything I was interested in, camp. Trips. I am blessed to have such loving parents and I took all that for granted. I think I had to lose everything to appreciate anything and I had to lose everything to grow up to recognize how much you guys did for me. Dad, I remember you singing my Sugar Mountain as one of my favorite childhood memories. The guilt I feel for what I put my family through eats me alive, but hey are helping me learn to forgive myself here. I hope you all can one day forgive me as well. I would like to have the opportunity to be the daughter and sister I once was so long ago and hopefully even more! I am growing up here. I am getting thicker skin, I am becoming more determined, and learning I cannot feel happy all the time, there will be moments of pain, of joy and just as many moments of pain, and being content is being ok with it all. Accepting any emotion and realizing it is not permament. Acceptance is a great state of mind.

I am learning how to play the keyboard. And, me and another Ohio girl are starting a band. There is no guitar here so I just started messing around on the keyboard. By my 3rd day, we had an original song, harmony and all written! We had 2 names for our band, we were debating on …. “Sometimes Slowly” or “Fatally Hip”. We chose “Fatally Hip”.

It hasn’t snowed here yet. It is 2012 though, so I am pretty sure that means the world is going to end. How is my brother? Due/ miss , Andy a lot! Tell him I say Hey and that I love him. I hope he is enjoying school and what-not. Oh, by the way, they have approved me to get my license! Can you even believe it??!! This is a big accomplishement! I think.. I am very excited. Anyway, please write back ASAP. Oh by the way, Happy Birthday Dad! I hope you got my card. Love you guys! I can’t wait to see you this Spring!

Love you!

Hearts! Emily


  1. Fantastic letter! And the misspellings make it all the more endearing.

    I'll bet you are thrilled with her progress.

  2. What a great letter! When B was in jail I only received a couple but you know what???? It meant so much. It is so nice to hear that she is building some self esteem. I am still amazed that she is still there in such a difficult place. Good for her and you!

  3. Wow! She is still there - she is determined!
    Fantastic news!

  4. The letter is wonderful, it makes me happy and sad -- all in the same thought. I am keeping my prayers targetet to our wonderful daughter! I have some similar problems with my brother and also with some of my friend's kids. It breaks my heart! And at the same time, I find hope!
    PS thank you for following my blog.