A week later, I get texts and calls, she wants help. Only problem is, these are at 5:30pm, 10:30pm, 12:30 am. She reminds me of my offer to help. I explain there is nothing I can do at these hours. I had a PLAN a week ago. It involved several people very willing to help, knowing I was super busy. She never showed or committed. I explained, I am busy, but I will make myself available for a few hours during the day to take her somewhere. Where? She wants to know. Wherever you contacted, I tell her. Since she did not call her doctor, a therapist that was standing by to help her, a friend willing to be her sober companion during a detox.
At this point Andy's graduation is in a few day. I am praying she does not pull something. This is his time. I am working on and planning being 100% present for him.
It's the end of his party. I am having a drink at the club with 2 of my college friends, relaxing for once and my phone rings.. 12:30 AM. It's her. I should not have, but I did answer. She is crying hysterically. I just said, Emily, F U, I told you not call late at night. I just hosted your whole family for Andy's grad party and I will not let you ruin it. She said she has to get away from Joey, she wants to detox. I said, that's great, call in the morning and we will help you. She asked if I was really going to make her sleep on a bench in the rain that night. Yes, I am . My day is done, and I am not getting into drama and crisis's anymore.
She didn't call the next morning or afternoon. Go figure.
I get a few texts, saying she is detoxing herself. She is in another city, farther away. The city where the college Andy is going to. This makes me mad! She saying she loves it there, wants to stay. Makes me madder. This is his future, how dare she end up there!
She tells me, her detox is going ok, over the worst of it, has a plan, has people helping her, but she will need to take me up on her offer of a ride. I tell her ok, but give me details. She said she really can't because of confidentiality, it is a battered womens center, in another state. I told her I support that, but I am not going on a wild goose chase. She says she understands, but she has to "sneak" away and it may be last minute and she will give me the of the city, in the other state.
So she does provide me with the information. It looks perfect. Her plan is to do the battered women's program then they will transfer to the dual dx , addiction center for women, then she will wants to do the long term one, 2 years in NC. So she gives me the name of the city to mapquest. It's about 4.5 hours away. Let's call it "Smithville".
The next night, she calls and says can we go now?? It's 9pm this past Wed. It will take me 2 hours to get to her. But, something in her voice, told me to do it. She has been crying wolf for 3 weeks, and I am not convinced easily. Crying wolf is very painful to a parent of an addict. You want it so bad! Then they back away. But, something said go. I went.
The plan become more elaborate as I was driving. I told her to get to a public place, stay there til I get there. She went to a mexican place, where my step brother is part owner, but she does not know that and I have only met him like 5 times in my life. Happens, my nephew is there. So my brother is calling me, saying Emily is freaking out, with his son. My nephew takes her to his frat house, feeds her, keeps her til I come. I get them, then she has us drive her to some street where she threw her bag, because as she was leaving Joey was coming home and she would never get away if he saw she was leaving. We get her bag. Take my nephew back and she and I leave. I drove for another 45 minutes and got a hotel room.
Continued
At this point Andy's graduation is in a few day. I am praying she does not pull something. This is his time. I am working on and planning being 100% present for him.
It's the end of his party. I am having a drink at the club with 2 of my college friends, relaxing for once and my phone rings.. 12:30 AM. It's her. I should not have, but I did answer. She is crying hysterically. I just said, Emily, F U, I told you not call late at night. I just hosted your whole family for Andy's grad party and I will not let you ruin it. She said she has to get away from Joey, she wants to detox. I said, that's great, call in the morning and we will help you. She asked if I was really going to make her sleep on a bench in the rain that night. Yes, I am . My day is done, and I am not getting into drama and crisis's anymore.
She didn't call the next morning or afternoon. Go figure.
I get a few texts, saying she is detoxing herself. She is in another city, farther away. The city where the college Andy is going to. This makes me mad! She saying she loves it there, wants to stay. Makes me madder. This is his future, how dare she end up there!
She tells me, her detox is going ok, over the worst of it, has a plan, has people helping her, but she will need to take me up on her offer of a ride. I tell her ok, but give me details. She said she really can't because of confidentiality, it is a battered womens center, in another state. I told her I support that, but I am not going on a wild goose chase. She says she understands, but she has to "sneak" away and it may be last minute and she will give me the of the city, in the other state.
So she does provide me with the information. It looks perfect. Her plan is to do the battered women's program then they will transfer to the dual dx , addiction center for women, then she will wants to do the long term one, 2 years in NC. So she gives me the name of the city to mapquest. It's about 4.5 hours away. Let's call it "Smithville".
The next night, she calls and says can we go now?? It's 9pm this past Wed. It will take me 2 hours to get to her. But, something in her voice, told me to do it. She has been crying wolf for 3 weeks, and I am not convinced easily. Crying wolf is very painful to a parent of an addict. You want it so bad! Then they back away. But, something said go. I went.
The plan become more elaborate as I was driving. I told her to get to a public place, stay there til I get there. She went to a mexican place, where my step brother is part owner, but she does not know that and I have only met him like 5 times in my life. Happens, my nephew is there. So my brother is calling me, saying Emily is freaking out, with his son. My nephew takes her to his frat house, feeds her, keeps her til I come. I get them, then she has us drive her to some street where she threw her bag, because as she was leaving Joey was coming home and she would never get away if he saw she was leaving. We get her bag. Take my nephew back and she and I leave. I drove for another 45 minutes and got a hotel room.
Continued
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