You are my sunshine, my only sunshine. You make me happy when skies are grey, You will never dear how much I love, please don't take my sunshine away.
I sang that to my kids all the time when they were babies and toddlers. Last year when we were doing the Grad party video, I made my husband include that song to the baby pictures of my son.
Recently, I found it printed out on burlap and bought it. It's sitting on my table to be framed.
I got a letter from Emily. Here it is:
April 5, 2012
Mom,
So I just got your Easter Stuff. Thank you guys so much! I cried so hard when I saw the journal and card. I want to let you know that was the most special, beautiful gift I have ever gotten. Did you make it? I love you so much, Mom. Seeing that you even thought about me, let alone love me that much is the thing that gets me through the day. And sometimes when I feel like can’t do it anymore, I think of you and Dad and Andy. How much I love you guys, what a blessing it is to have you and your love in my life. The fact this program will help me become a better person, thrus, a better daughter and sister, and how lucky I am to have such a loving and supportive family rooting for me. It gives me the strength to push through this, and of course I am doing this for me, but I want to be a good daughter and have you in my life. I always have, I think I was just blinded by my disease for a long long time.
Mom, this is the hardest thing I have ever done in my life. Sometimes I get so frustrated with this program and I just want to throw my hands up and quit, but honestly, I have learned more about myself and life, how to cope with reality and things not going how I want them to, holding myself accountable and learning I am going to have to just accept the in life we have do lots of things we don’t want to do. I have learned I can make it through devastation, anger, pain, resentment, guilt, fear, boredom, hopelessness and heartache and not have to use drugs. I have learned I still have a long way to go. This what makes this program different than any other I have been through. That’s what makes me feel like even in a short 5 and half months I have grown more than I grew in all 20 years of my exsistance. And every day I think of you. I have realized a lot , about our relationship and looking back, I blamed you for many things that you did not deserve. Many times you tried to help or do something out of love for me. I just kicked you down , took it the wrong way or acted “selfish” making you feel beyond hurt.
Mom, I am so sorry! I could not stop using drugs and anything or anyone who tried to prevent me from doing so , I disguarded and destroyed to get the drugs I thought I needed at the time. Now that I am sober I can realize how revolting I really was. I know I may not deserve it, but please forgive me. For all the horrible things I did to you, the unbelievable pain I have caused you. The trauma, I made you victim to and just that I have always loved you with my whole heart. I just did not know how. And I look forward to the time we have now to make up for it. After all you are my Mommy. I remember you used to sing me this song as a baby and now I am gonna sing it to you through this letter.
“you are my sunshine. My only sunshine.
You make me happy when skies are grey
You will never know dear, how much I love you,
Please don’t take my sunshine away”
I LOVE YOU
Hearts Em
I sang that to my kids all the time when they were babies and toddlers. Last year when we were doing the Grad party video, I made my husband include that song to the baby pictures of my son.
Recently, I found it printed out on burlap and bought it. It's sitting on my table to be framed.
I got a letter from Emily. Here it is:
April 5, 2012
Mom,
So I just got your Easter Stuff. Thank you guys so much! I cried so hard when I saw the journal and card. I want to let you know that was the most special, beautiful gift I have ever gotten. Did you make it? I love you so much, Mom. Seeing that you even thought about me, let alone love me that much is the thing that gets me through the day. And sometimes when I feel like can’t do it anymore, I think of you and Dad and Andy. How much I love you guys, what a blessing it is to have you and your love in my life. The fact this program will help me become a better person, thrus, a better daughter and sister, and how lucky I am to have such a loving and supportive family rooting for me. It gives me the strength to push through this, and of course I am doing this for me, but I want to be a good daughter and have you in my life. I always have, I think I was just blinded by my disease for a long long time.
Mom, this is the hardest thing I have ever done in my life. Sometimes I get so frustrated with this program and I just want to throw my hands up and quit, but honestly, I have learned more about myself and life, how to cope with reality and things not going how I want them to, holding myself accountable and learning I am going to have to just accept the in life we have do lots of things we don’t want to do. I have learned I can make it through devastation, anger, pain, resentment, guilt, fear, boredom, hopelessness and heartache and not have to use drugs. I have learned I still have a long way to go. This what makes this program different than any other I have been through. That’s what makes me feel like even in a short 5 and half months I have grown more than I grew in all 20 years of my exsistance. And every day I think of you. I have realized a lot , about our relationship and looking back, I blamed you for many things that you did not deserve. Many times you tried to help or do something out of love for me. I just kicked you down , took it the wrong way or acted “selfish” making you feel beyond hurt.
Mom, I am so sorry! I could not stop using drugs and anything or anyone who tried to prevent me from doing so , I disguarded and destroyed to get the drugs I thought I needed at the time. Now that I am sober I can realize how revolting I really was. I know I may not deserve it, but please forgive me. For all the horrible things I did to you, the unbelievable pain I have caused you. The trauma, I made you victim to and just that I have always loved you with my whole heart. I just did not know how. And I look forward to the time we have now to make up for it. After all you are my Mommy. I remember you used to sing me this song as a baby and now I am gonna sing it to you through this letter.
“you are my sunshine. My only sunshine.
You make me happy when skies are grey
You will never know dear, how much I love you,
Please don’t take my sunshine away”
I LOVE YOU
Hearts Em
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